It transpires that this daft little writing journal I’ve set up for myself might well be paying off.

At least for now, that is.

After my last entry, I found myself with a burst of inspiration. All that talk about channeling my inner motivation genuinely inspired me. The moment I published my piece on struggling to kick my writing brain into the correct gear, I found myself with an overwhelming urge to dive into my novel. Not only had I managed to contribute an additional 5,000 words to the project, but I even found myself threading new ideas into the mix, giving my work a little more narrative potential later on down the line!

There were a few moments when I felt some old problematic habits creeping into the picture, mind you. You see, I have this tendency to use perfection as a cheeky little form of procrastination. Usually, I’ll find myself reading through early chapters as a means to figure out whereabouts I am in the novel. What are my characters meant to be doing in the next bit? Where are they in their journeys right now? What details have been revealed about them up until that point? What was their emotions states in the run up to the latest entry? That sort of thing.

In a bid to gear myself up to writing my latest batch of chapters, I found myself doing just this. I read through my story to figure out where Eddie and Rose were in the story. As I did so, I noticed various aspects of the work I wasn’t all too keen on. Eddie was coming across too blunt and standoffish. He was argumentative, difficult for the sake of being difficult, and just distant to the point of off-putting. As for Rose, she was far too neurotic for this point of the story. While I want to portray her as someone who struggles to ease the breaks on her conversations, I can’t have her going on exhaustive tangents to the point of parody. I was finding it hard to believe that these two would be this open with one another this early in the story.

Furthermore, the pair were being far too argumentative with one another. While I certainly want my protagonists to clash at numerous stages throughout this novel (after all, what’s the point if they just get on or 80,000 words), I feel it’s a little too early for this at the moment for them to be picking fights. Considering the story is told through the lens of two strangers emailing one another, it would be all too easy for one of them to cease contact, should the other comes across as troubling or difficult. It doesn’t feel natural having them be this defensive at a stage where the other could simply reassign their messages to the spam folder.

When it comes to these sorts of criticisms, I have a general rule that I try to stick to; simply jot down a trusty reminder in my OneNote folder, then consult during the editing stage. Picking up on problems plaguing my plot is good. If I wasn’t noticing errors in my opening draft, there’s no hope for my rewrites. While I’m in the initial write up mode, however, I need to focus on getting the raw material down on paper. Now isn’t the time to reshape the early chapters into polished products. That’s how I get bogged down in the detail to the point of never finishing. It’s one of the very reasons why I have several unfinished novels gathering digital dust in my OneDrive folder.

Despite my trust rule, I wasn’t quite following my own advice on this particular winter’s morning. Off I went, fine-tuning Rose’s keenness, all while dialing down Eddie’s tendency to engage in a disagreement after disagreement with her. After a good hour of engaging in this distracting habit, I realized my word count had been decreasing as opposed to increasing. My daily target was getting bigger, as I removed unwanted segments and gutted less favorable paragraphs. I was so focused on tightening up the opening batch of existing chapters, I hadn’t actually contributed anything to any of the new ones.

Fortunately, I snapped myself out of my distracting state-of-mind and got to work on drafting out the parts of my story yet to be written down. With the zest of my post-writer’s journal inspiration, I carried Rose and Eddie into the future of their fable, forming conceptual daydreams into tangible words laid forth on a computer screen.

A mixture of excitement and frustration tangled itself within my dream weaving. On the one hand, I was giddy at the sight of my story coming to life. Here they were, my darling creations, interacting with one another and gradually revealing their personas through their email exchanges. Rose trying to mask her sadness through positive mantras; Eddie attempting to downplay the hidden difficulties of his private life. Two strangers, trying to masquerade the realities of their world through their words. As I typed out each of their respective chapters, I felt myself falling in love with them both all over again.

As for the frustration, I couldn’t help but listen to that inner voice whispering at the back of my mind.

This is rubbish.

Rose is unlikeable.

Eddie is a fool.

No one will believe this friendship.

Where is this going?

Don’t waste your energy.

Fortunate for me, the dazzle of my post-journal glee kept me on track. I knew the doubt would pass. I didn’t need to listen to it. Even if there were flickers of truth to some of the thoughts, it didn’t mean I was doomed to fail. Even if Rose isn’t calibrated right, I can tweak her during the editing stage. Eddie might well be wearing some of his less favorable flaws on his sleeve right now, but I can make them more nuanced and subdued later on down the line. None of this suggests my project is destined to crumble in on itself. It’s still forming, is all.

Overall, I’m happy with where this is going. As I move ever closer to the second act, I’m beginning to see a story form. Okay, so fine, it’s a bit messy and weird in places. I’m still getting used to writing a story in email form. Setting the stage and outlining the action in each chapter is a little difficult when it’s told through the lens of an email. Finding a balance between it reading like a genuine email and a story at the same time is considerably tough at times. But all of this is workable. I’m learning a new way of telling a story, and I’m enjoying the challenges that come with working out the various issues that arise within the mechanics of this particular tale.

On that note, I’m off to work a bit more on Eddie’s latest chapter.

Wish me luck.